Can we talk about “special needs proms?”

 Can we talk about “special needs proms?”

The photos I have seen from a recent event are beautiful. I am genuinely glad the people who attended had a great time. Joy matters.

But joy in a separate space does not equal inclusion. A separate prom is still segregation, even when it is wrapped in kindness. If a community can come together to create a big, joyful event, it is worth asking why we cannot create that same joy with everyone, more often, in the actual community. Why is separation still the default instead of inclusion.

I also understand the value of disability‑specific spaces. Programs like the Youth Leadership Forum are important because they build identity, leadership, and community among people who share lived experience. These spaces exist to empower people, not to replace access to the broader community.

A prom is different. A prom is a community milestone that everyone should have access to. Creating a separate version does not build belonging. It replaces it.

I am not trying to take away the beauty of the night. The community worked hard to create a fun, engaging, and safe event for people who may not have had that opportunity otherwise. I want everyone to feel that kind of joy.

I also want us to think about how we include people with disabilities in their communities every day. People with disabilities should not be treated as special projects. They are people with full lives, interests, and identities. So how do we keep that feeling of joy going beyond one night. How do we make sure people with disabilities truly belong in their communities, where they can learn, work, play, and live and be valued for who they are.

If you are still here, thank you for thinking this through with me. I am always happy to continue the conversation over coffee, chai, or even a soda or water.

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